i bought this…….
only to find that this notebook doesnt HAVE a slot for notebook lock! arrgghhhh!!! patotla sume org x kesah pon nk lock their machines…. the other day i did search for the slot, mcm nampak… adeh laa… imaginary slot rupenye…. dammit…… eee x takot ilang ke diorg nihhhh…..
apparently i’ve made a bad initial decision. although i have a hunch that the decision is wise, but somehow i’m suffering a mental disorder only coming back to my old werkplace can cure me. i’ll be moving to kedah in january, and i wish they wud ship me there earlier. i know i wud suffer from the same uneasiness as here, but at least i have a family there. maybe it wud turn out even worst than here, but i’ll let time take its course.
oh. before that, happy hari raya to you! hope it has been a blessed one. someone told me no point of asking for forgiveness from people since my life is already doomed. well darling, are you God to tell me i’m doomed…? you’ve just wasted your faith. maaf zahir batin to all 
.
why i resigned is no mystery. to be home with the family. the transition in the previous company went great, but adapting to new life is definitely not how i expected it to be.
hmph!
previously: first day – i was taken for a tour of the office by the HR. i was introduced to the row of managers, to the teams i’ll be werking with. i was immediately taken into several series of meetings with my manager where he explained to me how things are done here. i was given a buddy to help me in case i need any assistance around the company. i was taken out by my manager for lunch, where i get to mingle more. on the whole, i feel valuable there.
now: first day – i was taken to HR to fill in some papers. i was briefly told of how to submit claims etc, and was brought to the office administrator where she brought me to claim my notebook and tag. for all, i’m the one who need to extend my hand to greet people when i was introduced. were they expecting to only look at me while being introduced? after unplanned decision, i was brought by manager towards the first island we’re in, to introduce the team members. then he had to do some stuff. but before that, i asked him on the plan on training me. he said he didnt have anything in mind, yet. can you imagine that? and he’s from Motorola for God’s sake. isn’t that a well-reputable company as well? what shame has their management taught these ex-employees. then only he said i will need to join in meetings that this malay lady in the team involves in. i have no problem with that, except, that lady seems busy to even look at me. how in the fucking werld will she be able to teach me? am i supposed to ask her each time she’s going to meetings and tag along?? tak ke penyebok namanye tu? if they say, to learn, you need to ask questions. how the hell am i supposed to learn if i dont know WHAT to ask?? i regretted the day i picked up the call from the damn head hunter!
i gotta go and cool down. nak mandilah. tata.
i wanted to write about my trip to an orchard last weekend, but that will need to wait. condolences to my manager for the lost of his beloved father, who had fought bravely during the course of cancer. may the family find comfort in each other and in all the deep concern that comes to him today.
oh. let me clarify again. to those new to me. i love to set my ym status to lyrics from songs, and it usually doesnt reflect the courses of my life. and i usually put a blog title, with nothing to do, at all to the content. i just feel like it, bcos most of my time blogging is while i’m listening to music, and guess what, those titles are from song lyrics as well 
. note the word usually. haha. you’ll never know 
.
anyhow, i’m attending a leadership academy course for 2 days in the office. the strength of these soft skill courses really depends on the motivator/instructor/facilitator per se. the level of absorption relies on how he/she successful capture our attention – and taking care of the attention span as well.
i’ve been blessed to have these great people to have mentored and guide me in bringing the better in me. i used to love reading motivational books. dale carnegie, whatever soup book they have, etc were my favorites. that was long before i get to know the realities of life (after i messed up mine of course hehe). i started to hate those books, bcos in my perception, those stories are too good to be true. even in my readings nowadays, i skipped those authors who love to tell stories that potray physical perfection, towering wealth, and the likes. even though there are some twist and turns in the stories, still i feel itu adelah cerite mcm bagos sahaje. bley?
coming back to my leadership academy. it’s only day 1. i get to know my characteristics thru the meyer-briggs self-assessment. i’m an ISTJ. hate to explain that much to you guys, but in short, i’m an introvert (as expected), with a mix of sensing, thinking, and judging type. a sensing type is critical as an auditor, but my score showed that i’m at the borderline with intuitive type. going towards consultancy, i’m very much in big trouble if i keep on nurturing my introversive attitude. you’ll get to know more on the assessment on http://www.keirsey.com/. similar tests.
i love how the facilitator make her opening remarks – it’s not all about you. when u look in the mirror in the morning, realize that the world doesnt revolve around you, and it’s not all about you. if you had a fight with your husband, fren, siblings, etc, that fight is about them. don’t relate to everybody else. in dealing with people, stop and listen to what they have to say. i wont bore you with what i’ve learned, bcos it will not sound as excited when you join the class. most techies will not prefer these kinds of courses, bcos they would feel it’s a waste of time. but all i have to say is, just try them, and you’ll realize the whole potential you have, which has not been set free, as yet.
but one thing i still hate to do – public presentation. i dont think any body could come in and tell me i can do it, for i’ve tried a lot of times, and still fail to succeed. damn…
around lunch hour tadi, i was scouring through my gmail, in a housekeeping attempt, which turned to be a scrapping-the-whole-lot-of-old-emails, instead of archiving them. that was when suddenly, i came across one email, mase aku maseh bekerje kat xybase. the reason for using personal email at that time was the company’s email server was down. this was two years back.
two years back, i was a very rude person, and i didn’t have professionalism in me. aku x amek kira hal org, janji aku belasah those ppl who’s going to make the company suffer, without realizing that the process we currently have at that moment, is cramping people. i remembered that hatred i had back then to the project manager who refuses to abide to our rules. this is the email. please disregard my grammar. i never care about them anyway . note that i did not greet people here?
With all this impressive schedule, do explain to me all these:
* How are we going to conduct the training without the application
going through the UAT, and without the application being verified
and deemed ready for client?
* As per schedule, I’m fine with the CSU training since the UAT was
done before. What worries much is on what scheduled on the 7th
Feb. What has actually been agreed by all now?
* Logically, we have only 27/1, 2/2 and 3/2 for UAT. Has the
regression of the internal ORs raised during IFT done?
* From those 3 days, when do you want to slot in the regression of
the UAT ORs?
* To come up with a training manual, you *are *aware right that the
Training Department needs to undergo and study the system (which
is supposed to be running fine) first? In how many hours do you
expect them to come up with this manual?
* I’ve received emails from our testing engineers, highlighting on
the testing server readiness and whatever needs to be catered
before going through UAT. Have all these been taken care of?I agree that we do not have the luxury of time; but you are jeopardizing
the quality of this project by cramping all these within impossible
dates. These are my concerns. I don’t know what other dependencies which
were not informed to me, and hence my concerns are based on what I know.
Advise me on these.Adlina
sadder part is, there’s no please here. if only those people i’ve hurt during my employment there, are reading this, i am so sorry for making ur life a living hell. i hope the current QAs are more sensible. do understand that being a punchbag to the top management made me lost all my senses and pushed people harder beyond their limits.
when i werked with dell, i lost my temper to a lead developer in austin. can’t remember the reasons though. i sent out an email yg berbaur marah. my mgr found out, and had a discussion with me, and asked me to bgtau die if there’s any problems, before shooting emails kepade pemangse. then he sent me to a class, on how to deal with difficult people. i learned a lot from there.
then i joined kampeni baru ni plak, taking the role similar to the one in xybase. during discussions dgn mgr aku in the first month, i did tell him yg i’m a kinda short-tempered, and he gave quite interesting insights on how people werk, and the fact that these people are humans, and not machines like the ones they werk on with. being considerate gets people to cooperate more, rather that holding a cane and directing them to adhere.
alamak. terase ter’serious’ plak dlm entry nih. heheh. but as a lesson here – most of us know, if the leader is a lady, better be careful, since women tend to give difficult times to people around her, especially her subordinates. i’ve known a lot of my friends yg dikenali sbg mgrs, team leaders, who shouts at people they werk with, more often than they shout at their children/siblings. note to myself jugak, respect cannot be gained in that manner, just hatred.
well… you know what they say, Frank…. *sunglasses*…. anger kills. YEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! (intro song)
kekeke..
one month ago, it was a lovely morning in the office. the desks were all neat and spotless.
today……..
the cubicle tagged adlina has become the talk of town, dan telah menjadikan auntie cleaner surrender and plan to be on leave the next day.
since yesterday aku x dpt access wordpress properly. ni yg x best nih. the reason i moved to here adelah disebabkan the other blog domain is so slow at one time. crap.
i went back to kedah last weekend. on saturday, makmbone mintak tlg amekkan ubat die kat hospital alor setar. there’s about 4 rows dkt kaunter farmasi tu. the 1st row will usually be the place where u put in ur prescription and the pharmacist will take it and look up which row to put u based on ur medications. well, it doesnt happen that way nowadays. i came there, approach the first counter, and handed over my prescription. pade aku lah kan, i wud think it wud be rude if someone handed something to u, and u didnt take it. tp stendet lah.. lelaki… maybe i was not “sedap mata memandang” enuff to get his attention. wat the heck la woi. ko keje dlm sepital, where almost half of the people u met is dying. muke lawo ke.
anyways, while waiting, i was observing and wondering why government agencies/institutions/whatever selalu dikutuk bcos of their inefficiencies and the likes. and perhaps, that day, i found the answer.
they have 4 counters. dgn mengabaikan the 1st counter, so there’ll be 3 rows utk org amek ubat. out of these rows, only one was dealing with ppl. okay, maybe 2 la kot sbb mase aku sampai tu, the middle counter was explaining to this chinese lady pasal the drugs, which took almost one hour sampai giliran aku.
there are around 5 pharmacists kat situ, dgn additional 2 dkt blakang yg amek ubat. cuma 2 org attending counters, ape yg lain buat? mamat sorg yg amek prescription kat kaunter ujung, just tekan nombor utk the same counter, and amek prescription kasik pharmacist yg amek ubat. aku rase the patients themselves boleh tekankan button nak amek number kot kalo kesah nye mcm tu? one guy to eliminate.
prosedur nye, org amek ubat akan amek ubat dr botol2 ubat yg melambak2 tu, then letak dlm bakul kecik, together with the prescription. pastu, ade org yg akan amek bakul tu, kasik kat kaunter, di mane kaunter tu adelah 2, 3 langkah je. aku x rase perlu org yg tukang passing ubat tu. another guy to eliminate, and another 2 for i dont know why they shud be there. now, there’s a total of 4 org yg x diperlukan di farmasi itu. so, tinggal lah 3 org yg btol2 bergune. diorg boleh je nak help out each other kalo diorg nak.. kalo dh tgk org kat kaunter tu tgh bz, org yg amek ubat tu tlg lah bwkkan bakul2 ubat ke kaunter. at least xde lah idle time sgt kan.
ini cume contoh. aku rase kalo government buat re-organization mcm yg kampeni tmpt keje aku nih buat, i think almost half of the employees will be laid-off, and semestinyelah berjuta compensation yg harus dibayar. re-org nnt surely involves eliminating of duplicate/overlapping roles, restrusturing and segmenting the organization to produce a more effective communication. aku x ckp lah this re-org is proven to be effective, tp at least there’s some initiative to put the kampeni back together. and it IS a good way to scare ppl – di mane very risky sbb samada employees ko akan demoralized, atau lg bekerje keras supaye tidak dibuang. hmm… i dont settle for those 2. i want money…. ahahaha.
oh. this morning, i told my mgr that i started to feel bored, and this is not good for me. aku ckp aku bosan sbb x byk tasks, and i cant be reading stuffs when there’s nothing to do. i’m waiting for something, and i cant wait long bcos kalo lg lama aku tunggu, lg aku jdk bodoh. hmm… x suke membace, tp involve in audit di mane mmg kene byk membace. mau mati. mgr aku ckp give him till tomoro, di mane die dh set up 1×1 dgn aku, and for him to think of something. ergghh.. i need werkkk……. ahaha.
signing off 
Dear manager,
It was understood that the company has not given any final word for our justifications for travel to Limerick. However, we hope the company realize that by lowering the temperature in the office to below 10°C does not count as a remediation, and it does not constitute to a better working environment, neither will it put the company as one of the top employers of the year. In fact, this decision will only make the employees suffer by brain damage due to the crystallized synapses.
We really hope the company could reconsider the decision, failing which, there will be a bigger employee turnaround this year than before. Thank you in advance.
Cheers,
Adlina Abdul Rahim
Planning and Governance – Compliance, Policy and Risk
DID: (603) 8310 1944
okie, lemme string down my compiled thots. heheh.
kirja
jgn gelak. tp i’ve been elected as treasurer untok.. akeke… jgn gelak… komiti surau Dell. :”>. sunggoh religious aku rase walaupon setakat bendahari. dah lama x rase cemni. punye lah lama i’ve been living without constant islamic inputs to my brain, skang dah re-live the good ‘ol IIUM days . sejuk je ati bile dgr the chairman ckp, and some other members. penoh dgn puji2an kepade Allah swt. haihh… i can’t be that old…
aku juge telah mendapat 1 star badge sbb kasik satu idea kepade kampeni. the target for this company is to brainstorm ppl and obtain 500 IDEAs till end of the year. okay. so idea aku yg SATU tu adelah a bit insignificant. but i managed to get one star jugak tau…. :”>. my idea? letak signboard “pull” and “push” kat pintu opis. ngeeee… i know it’s stupid. if it’s very grand, then aku musti lah masokkan as one of my BPI project right… kekekeke.
last week, my manager bought me this:
aku kompius. so aku tanye colleague yg lain, ade x diorg dpt. diorg ckp x. oookaaayyy… so i started to think mcm2. adekah mgr ku cube membuat affair dgn diri ini… dlm terkompius2 tuh, colleague aku soh bukak. so aku pon bukak lah. rupenye kat dlm ade bungkusan chumil kurma. agak teruja aku melihatnye. patotla die kasik aku sorg. sah2 lah dlm team tu aku sorg muslim. wahahahaha. perasan punye edi. :”>.
life
last 3 weeks witnessed my freakiness in dealing with public transportation. aku balek kedah. naek train. it was not bad. but damn tiring man!! 12 hours. and aku stuffed dlm peti ais bergerak bak kate anak cousin aku. cheit. but i wud rather call it keranda bergerak. take a look at this:
get what i mean….? ehehehe. and furthermore… aku di upper deck. and ia adelah sgt scary kalau ko adelah penakot nak mampos mcm aku. bukan rockabye baby lg… tp rockabye *mencarut* akekeke. oh. take a look at this:
ddk di sebelah kanan tangge itu adelah seorg lelaki yg agak ensem. die sedang ddk smbl memerhatikan org lalu lalang sambil mengemas2 beg nye. tibe2 die ternampak seorg perempuan gemok sedang mencari2 tmpt tdurnye. oh. katil atas. perempuan itu meletakkan seisi brgnye, dan bersedia untok naek. lelaki itu melihat gerak gaye prempuan itu. bersunggoh2. dah lah bontot nye mengadap muke lelaki itu. perempuan itu menggapai segale tiang yg ade berhampiran sebagai sapot untok menareknye ke atas. gile hudoh. hampir berjaye, tibe2 kedengaran prempuan itu “ehh ehh ehhh”. lelaki itu lihat die tergelongsor ke bawah disebabkan tiang yg dipegang perempuan itu agak licin. tetapi perempuan itu tidak putus asa, lalu panjat lagi sekali dgn bersunggoh2, dan kali ini berjaye. hah lega. perempuan itu menoleh semule kepadenye, dgn harapan lelaki itu tidak melihat aksi memalukan itu. lelaki itu telahpon memandang ke tmpt lain, kerana die tahu, prempuan itu pasti akan malu. kesian btol prempuan gemok itu. isy isy isy…..
gile malu okaaaayyyyy…….. adehh….
ni pemandangan kat stesen ketapi alor setar. sgt ler ol skul
due to some glitches, perjalanan bertolak aku from alor setar ke kl delayed for around 40 minutes. so aku berbuke dlm ketapi dgn bekalan yg makmbone kasik. haih… rindu nye nak balek. to the arms of unconditional love. to the arms of org2 yg x pernah berubah dr rase sayg kat kite. haih haih…
alamak. japgi aku sambong.
