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Monthly Archives: December 2005

Pudar

Ola! Emotions? Taknak cite dah. Perkara dah sudah. Hari2 goes by dgn malunye je la, tapi kaver.. keke. Lelame let go je.
Last week has seen cemane aku struggle breathing. First day kene, thot it was just my normal asthma demam sume. P la aku hantam 100 plus berbotol2, while maintaining my superhero tak-saket-attitude. The next day kene pakse p klinik, baru p klinik. Usually, kalo lepas one shot ubat mmg trus rase lega sket. But this time kire mcm terok gak la cos mmg susah bernapas n tiap kali terjage tgh mlm, jdk gelabah, mcm nyawa nak end at dat moment – alone. Third time pegi klinik, dokter suspect pneumonia – jangkitan kuman dlm paru2. Whoa! Gile ke? Masok je kete lps diagnosis tu, Kesma (my 2nd sister in law) tersenyap, cos sume pon tau my mom died bcos of dis, n org jage anak Kesma pon died due to this last year. Eheh. Aku blur. Tp mlm tu mkn gak la segale ubat die bg. Last2 de next day, mlm, aku p jumpe dokter lagi skali sbb x tahan sgt. Kali ni bini dokter semlm plak. It’s an acute bronchial asthma PLUS pneumonia. Waahaaa!! Can’t it get any worst ar? So she referred me to go xray kat HKL, tp kene pegi mlm tu jugak. Appadia.. Last2, almost midnite tu aku p laa.. de xray was fine, I think, cos dokter tu tgk2 de infection’s not dat severe, tp de whole lungs depan blakang mmg tersumbat. Ape nama tuh.. ronchi.. apetah. Sukati korg lah. Korg yg blajar medicine. It was ok until dokter HKL tu soh aku p check pressure and oxygen dlm darah. Considering I think I was ok, p la buat check up. The reading for oxygen dlm darah was 92. Sepatotnye minimum is 95.

“Adek kene admit ni”
“Hah?? Alah lagi 3 je kak”
“Hmm… kejap” (yay yay!)
“Tak boleh lah dek. Mmg kene admit. Oxygen tak flow byk dlm darah ni” (s***t..)

Dua kali dokter tu check oxygen, before de second time tu aku terai la sedut napas kasik oxygen sume masok, tp x jdk lah kan men tipu nih.. Last2 mmg kene laa masok wad saringan dlu kat bawah emergency room tu.. while Budhi pegi fill up some form hape tah. Mase tu nurse soh aku ddk kat wad tu, while die letakkan dis oxygen-flowy thingy kat idung, ala2 mcm org prepare nak operate tuh. I was so not prepared, n mase org tu soh ddk atas katil tu, aku ddk je lah. Sambil diorg letak oxygen flow tu (best gak, nyaman gitu :P), aku tgh main2 jari lah ape sume, ye le, nak watpe lg. Tetibe terdengar nurse panggil nama.

“Adlina!” – nurse 1
“Tu ha.. yg tgh rilek je tu” nurse 2 sambil gelak2 kat nurse 1. siot je.
“Ha ni asthma kan?” – nurse 1
“Ha’a, oxygen x cukop. Die pon kompius kenape nak kene masok, siket sgt” – nurse 2 (tengkiu la kakak)
“Ye la kak, siket je, xkan xleh kawtim..” – hotak aku kawtim kekekeke.
“eh xleh.. meh sini” – nurse 1
— haa… kusi roda…? —
“Err… jalan je xleh ke kak?”
“hah? Boleh jalan ke? Asthma kan? Meh je lah..”
“Aaa….?” (huwaa…)

Masok je wad kat tengkat 5 tu, aku dpt katil nombor 8, konon lawa la kot katil tu, tapi direct baeeek nye kat bawah kipas. Tp seb baek x terase ngat. N then, bile tgk, I was de only katil yg ade pengadang tu, katil bdk kechik ke org gile ke xtau la kan, tp pengadang tu diturunkan lah. Tp katil tu jauh lebeh tinggi sket dr yg biase. Err.. ke aku mmg pendek. Eh suke lah nak buat assumption ape. Aku yg masok sepital. Mase aku got admitted tu, mmg dah lepas tgh mlm. Sambil tunggu dokter check up2 aku bersms2 sampai pensan, n then dtg la houseman ni (dokter pelateh..), chomel la.. takes my breath away.. :)) dah semput mmg la xde breath! Die check2 segale ceruk, pastu die kuarkan perkakas jarum die. Ah sudah…

“I nak amek darah u nak tgk ye”
“Err.. saket tak?”
“Saket” (wei ko dokter ape nih??)
“I kene amek darah from ur artery. Artery bawah lagi dari aorta. U belajar sains kan?” – menduga bio aku yg 7 tu nampaknye..
“Ha belajar” – sambil piker btol ke kelepet je ni dokter ni..?

Mase die tarek darah masok dlm syringe tu, konon2 aku tgh prepare la aksi ape nak buat xmo bg malu ngat. Sedar2, dah masok darah.. hehe. Idok le saket manenye.. :”)

“ha ni tgk ur darah” – mak aih.. itam.
“ni la sebab u xleh bernapas sgt. Ur oxygen x byk dlm darah” – n then trus die sumbat oxygen flow tu blk kat idung aku. Cheit.

Best rupenye tdo kat sepital, especially bilek yg x le siket ngat org. Antu pon ko x smpt nak pk, sbb suasane not permissible for the antu mood. Sonok. Rase mcm nyaman je.. De next day tu yg x best, sbb sblm pkl 8, nurse gerak nak kemas katil. Wei. Aku bukan nak kene discharge lg. Nak kemas ape. Rupenye tu mmg rutin diorg pepagi. Dah lepas diorg kemas, aku tarek blk selimut. Lantak korg. Aku ngantok. X smpt bape lama, “Dek, bgn. Sarapan”. Pulak dah… aku saket.. xde mood nak mkn la… aku bgn minom kopi die sambil pk buleh minom ke, tp habeh gak. Lantaklah. Aku kat sepital anyway. Pastu sambong tdo blk. Kihkihkih. Best gile! Pastu bgn, mkn ubat, kene sumbat nebulizer, pastu tdo, pastu lunch, pastu visiting hour, pastu tdo, mkn ubat, pastu nebulizer, pastu tdo, pastu minom ptg.. n de list goes on. Kekekekeke. Saye dgn ini mencadangkan anda sume masoklah sepital walaupon demam kura biase ;)).

Jam 6:00 ptg.

“Kakak, tolong laa… Kakak.. Faiti laa… Kakak, tolong laa.. Kakak…!”

Erk. Appa tuh??
“Haiyya.. itu org tua sudah mula..” – Chinese lady tepi aku bebunyik. Seiringan dgn tu, tetibe Indian lady blakang row kitorg “hey..!!!”, pastu ade org dr ceruk mane tah “wei..!!!”.. pastu dgr lagi.. “kakak.. tolong lah… kakak…!!”.
Kekekeke kitorg yg row seblah sini gelak2 sambil terjenguk2. Rupenye auntie Chinese tu mmg cemtu. Setat je pkl nam cemtu die dah setat jerit. Saaampai la pagi, pastu siang die senyap. Leteh kot. Semalaman kan gitu. :)). Rupenye die panggil nurse nak soh kuarkan die dr katil kandang die tu. Erk alamak. Katil cem aku la tuh. Chischis! Tergelak2 kitorg sepanjang mlm, sampai la mlm tu aku pensan awal smbl ttp tinge. Sedar2 de next day nye, bdk seblah aku tu sepuk aku sbb tinggal die kene dgr auntie tu jerit semlm sensorg kekekeke. “u tdo mati!!”. :)). X kuaso den nak layan. Tdo is a necessity, regardless bising cemane pon ;)). Hey.. aku rindu sepital laa… :P. Eheh, tp aku gak pakse dokter tu discharge aku awal2. Kot boleh men game ke xpe lah, ke ade maxis 3G ditambah dgn Nokia 6111 ke.. (pergh..) hehe. Berangan. Kuar sepital 22/12. Sume aku kene setel sdiri, from discharging to p bayar bills, to p amek ubat kat discharge pharmacy. Hmm… shows dat though you have your siblings around you, x sama dgn kalo ade parents, where you boleh ngengade and x amek tau ape saje, sedar2 dah settle. Anyway, ngengade lah aku. Been independent dah lama, time2 cemni nak over plak.
The next day, afternoon, eventhough still not that well, aku masok gak opis. Bukan nak tunjuk terer, but a part of the excuses xmo ddk umah Budhi, n bosan ddk umah. Jln2 opis is not dat bad wat.. 😛
Hah ok lah. Nak p jln2 lg. Daa…

 
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Posted by on December 27, 2005 in Uncategorized

 

SoManyEmotionalDays

:’)

A week of emotions. Sorry guys. This will be quite a mellow entry.

Awin tanye: “Ko tgh hepi ke skang edi?”
🙂 Cemane nak jawab? Wrong question at a so very right time. Within this week saje I’ve made lots of mistakes and decisions I shouldn’t have done. I’ve made confessions that I shouldn’t have make. Tak sedar diri. Btol lah org kate.. “cermin muke tu dlu sebelom buat ape2..”. Well, I’ve missed that part. People say when you have something to say to someone, just say it cos you won’t know when you’ll die, to let the things you want to say be left unsaid. Well, I’ve learned that it doesn’t always have to be that way. I’ve jeopardized a supposed-to-be simple friendship to an emotional level. Due to my selfishness of catering into my own personal feelings, I’ve risked this friendship and taken from this friend of mine, a friend he once knew as a fun gal, a place he once leaned on for bedtime stories :), a hangout friend to all sorts of places especially his favourite, mamak. I shouldn’t have told whatever I’ve told him. I should’ve just keep my mouth shut and be happy for him even when his happiness means undying heartbreak to me. But, the most important thing.. I should’ve cermin myself.
But it’s over and done. I started this friendship, and at least I need to do something about it. There’s no point of not being friends anymore, or not seeing him anymore; but the sacrifices I will make in the nearest future, I hope he understands. I’ll try and fake every laugh and smile. I won’t cry at his presence for I know it’ll disgust him. I’ve learned the hard way to never let it get that far. For all these things I’ve said and done, I’m sorry. But I’m happy though that he has found someone much much more fun than me, with an additional bonus – he loves her :). There won’t be that much problem to leave; at least I know that he’s in good hands, better :). But, I’ll try and be the friend he used to have again. A simple kind of friendship :).

 
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Posted by on December 7, 2005 in Uncategorized