We live by choices. Be it the choices we made ourselves, or choices of others, or those choices that leave us no options, and pushed us to the side.
Growing up, my decisions are not always accepted by my family. I requested to go to the best school after UPSR when I came up north, but the guardian at that time wouldn’t allow for the reason it’s far and troublesome for him to fetch me to school. Fine.
Having received my PMR results, I requested to go to boarding schools, since I was dying to experience staying in school with my friends and studied together. It must be something like every day sleepovers. I got hold of the application form to the guardian, and he just put the papers aside, and continue with his ciggy, saying that my uncle in Terengganu doesn’t allow me to go to those schools. He was cold, and I couldn’t ask further. Fine.
And so I proceed studying in the same school until I received the SPM. I wanted so much to go for aeronautical engineering (yes, funny since I am scared of flying, but that was back then). I even slap the vows I took during one of the motivation course in school to my bedroom wall, visualizing me attaining the degree from UTM (I never aim for overseas colleges since they cost a fortune). Or at least, I could ask for chemical engineering or something related to chemist since I love chemistry. As expected, the resistance once again, and now it came from my uncle in Terengganu. He asked me practice law in UIA, and this is the thing that I couldn’t stand. I loathe public speaking, and I hate reading thick, dusty books. Little did I know, the profession I withhold soon after got me reading and digesting processes of many standards. Back to the story, I tried to counteract this by applying for computer engineering, but I chose his suggested college, UIA. I never regretted studying there though. It is by far the best college I’ve been (not that I’ve been to many, anyway :P). I got the lecture, that computer stuff move very fast, and by the time you’re out of college, there won’t be much job left. He might be wrong since the IT world improves greatly over the years, and they require process improvement people to help them. But it was never what I wanted. And so I am left with that decision that change the whole course of my life.
From that event, I started to think that I may not need other people to decide for me. So I live my life in KL under my decisions, and hell I’ve chosen my path badly, that the consequences still last till now. I moved back up north after I’ve done quite a damage to my life, whereby my beloved auntie who takes care of me and my sister now has already warned me about my choices and the consequences. From there on, I started to rethink on my capability in making choices.
And so now the challenge arise again. For me to push out for postgrad and for me to buy a house. And not any house. A house in Alor Setar, preferably near to the house we’re staying now. God knows the price of those property nowadays. And God knows how much I will need to deduct from my salary just to keep other people happy. I don’t think that would leave me to any other options.
*haha wish me luck! :D*